LOOK/SEE, LISTEN/HEAR

Years ago while on an assignment inside the home of a client, I went into my usual routine to make the person feel at ease with a stranger in their home. I would start with a broad smile at the door and jovial dialogue during my introduction. As a plumber in public housing, the average resident greets you with apprehension if not anger. Usually because they have been waiting for quite a while to get what you came for repaired, and have taken a day off from work to grant you entrance. There are many who mirror the mood and attitude of these residents, and that only further exasperates the resident. I've long realized that when you enter someones home as a worker you are entering their safe zone, and should take care to cause the least amount of disruption to their lives as possible. This particular day I was in rare form. Quick witted, smart, and very funny (IMO). The resident in this case was a man in his late 20's tall with an athletic build. He was extremely cordial and receptive, but I only managed to get small smiles and polite responses to all my little quips. At one point I commented that he looked as if he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and thats when he dropped the bomb on me. 

He apologized profusely for not being more responsive and told me that I was correct, he hadn't slept well that night because his mother had died unexpectantly the day before. Just then I found my way outside of myself and actually took stock of my surroundings. The mans hair was unkempt as if he had just gotten out of bed, his eyes were red as if he was crying all night, the apartment was purposely dark, and there were loose pictures all across the living room table. Everywhere I looked the signs of mourning were clear and present, yet in my attempts to make him comfortable I missed them all. Maybe in reality I was just trying to make myself more comfortable. I realized then that it takes more than some self aware pleasantries to comfort others. You have to leave your own mind and be aware of (if not understand) what others are going through. Its not a difficult thing and doesn't take any great intellect. All it takes is to actual see what you are looking at, and hear what you are listening to. But that is not the greatest lesson I learned after this incident. I was schooled by this gentleman about grace under extreme duress. He had just lost someone who may have been his greatest love, and yet he had grace to entertain the whims of a court-jester of a plumber. This noble gentleman actually apologized to me for not being even more cordial than he had already been. Not only do I now pay more attention to my surroundings as it relates to people and their condition, I try hard not to react negatively to others based on my own trials and tribulations.

Responding to a friend who posted this on Facebook






Years ago me and a partner accepted a contract to complete a warehouse loft in Brooklyn. Plumbing, Heating, Ventilation and some light structural work. The job had been started by someone else, and the client was unsatisfied with how things were going.
We first had to correct an extraordinary amount of problems left by the last contractor. We soon came to the conclusion that this was the work of a extremely bad handyman, and dubbed him "The Butcher".

Day after day, over and over we ran into more and more outrageous work that had to be redone. At one point I had to inspect and finish a shower stall that was started by 'The Butcher'. I quickly realized that it didn't have a trap installed on the waste line (a fitting used to hold a water seal and prevent dangerous sewer gases from entering the living space). That left me no choice but to disassemble the entire unit to see if there were any other serious violations, which was a very frustrating situation considering the amount of time it took away from the large amount of work we had ahead of us. After removing a wall to check the vent piping (which supplies air relief to protect the newly installed trap's seal), I noticed that the vent piping had absolutely no space around it where it penetrated the floor. This was not a problem in itself, but I needed to see that it was properly connected to the waste line under the floor.
There was a small sliver of insulation protruding from where the pipe penetrated the floor, so I pulled on it hoping to expose enough of a crack to get my saw blade into to widen the hole.
As I pulled on the sliver of insulation, the entire pipe (Which was only 3" long and disconnected) fell into my hands. 'The Butcher' had propped up this pipe to look as if it was installed, and placed the sliver of insulation under it to further seal the illusion. I immediately started laughing hysterically, and my partner and the client quickly came over to see what was going on.

I tried to explain things to them while laughing hysterically with tears running down my face, and they stood there watching stunned and confused. It took me all of 5 minutes to regain composure and get back to work. I had absolutely no control of my laughter, and felt like I was reborn afterwards. I guess it was just a matter of my safety relief valve popping off.

My Untitled Poem 15 Years Ago

FREEDOM RIDERS

Once again we're back to the same old thing. You're telling me it doesn't matter, the color of my skin, the wealth of my kin, the sex that I'm in. You say anyone can be anything they want to be, its all up to them. You say things like 'Lets stop blaming the system', 'Pull yourself up by your own boot straps', and 'Forget about slavery, It's all in the past'. I chose to enlighten you, but I should've stomped your ass. There are barriers that hold us back, and they're real. If you cant see them, cant you feel. I'm not telling you to lay down and die, or give up on everything before you try. But before you can go under, over, around or through any obstacle, you have to recognized them and set up a plan. Boot pulling just don't cut it my man. As for not blaming the system I tend to agree, It was never set up to serve you and me. The very foundations were built on our backs, and still we're the victims of racial, sexual, and economic attacks. Forgetting Slavery was high on your list, now I know you've sunk deep in your mental abyss. Forget the Murders, the sorrow, the pain? Forget the heroes, the struggles, the gains?  Forget Tubman, Turner, Vesey, and Scott? Its time you turn in that brain that you got. Could I forget my father and mother who brought me to life, who nurtured and guided me through many a strife. The struggles they endured were parallel to none, not only because I was their son. They had no Idea the person I'd be, yet most of their time was spent on me, They love me, because they loved themselves.  So when Tubman continuously risked her life to ensure the freedom of others, it was because she love them, because she loved herself. When Turner unleased the fury that was within him, it wasn't just the hatred of his oppressors. It was the love of his people, the love of himself. So the next time you decide to shoot off your mouth, be sure you know what you're talking about. Its easy to think that you've made it alone, with your fine clothes, fancy car and beautiful home. But without the struggles of those in the past, I'd watch your naked, walking, homeless ass. Sit in the streets and wonder why, as the white winged power just pass you by. So sit back and relax, and let your mind roam. Think of your life and that beautiful home. Then all who spilled blood to pave the way, and thank them for this glorious day.