LOOK/SEE, LISTEN/HEAR

Years ago while on an assignment inside the home of a client, I went into my usual routine to make the person feel at ease with a stranger in their home. I would start with a broad smile at the door and jovial dialogue during my introduction. As a plumber in public housing, the average resident greets you with apprehension if not anger. Usually because they have been waiting for quite a while to get what you came for repaired, and have taken a day off from work to grant you entrance. There are many who mirror the mood and attitude of these residents, and that only further exasperates the resident. I've long realized that when you enter someones home as a worker you are entering their safe zone, and should take care to cause the least amount of disruption to their lives as possible. This particular day I was in rare form. Quick witted, smart, and very funny (IMO). The resident in this case was a man in his late 20's tall with an athletic build. He was extremely cordial and receptive, but I only managed to get small smiles and polite responses to all my little quips. At one point I commented that he looked as if he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and thats when he dropped the bomb on me. 

He apologized profusely for not being more responsive and told me that I was correct, he hadn't slept well that night because his mother had died unexpectantly the day before. Just then I found my way outside of myself and actually took stock of my surroundings. The mans hair was unkempt as if he had just gotten out of bed, his eyes were red as if he was crying all night, the apartment was purposely dark, and there were loose pictures all across the living room table. Everywhere I looked the signs of mourning were clear and present, yet in my attempts to make him comfortable I missed them all. Maybe in reality I was just trying to make myself more comfortable. I realized then that it takes more than some self aware pleasantries to comfort others. You have to leave your own mind and be aware of (if not understand) what others are going through. Its not a difficult thing and doesn't take any great intellect. All it takes is to actual see what you are looking at, and hear what you are listening to. But that is not the greatest lesson I learned after this incident. I was schooled by this gentleman about grace under extreme duress. He had just lost someone who may have been his greatest love, and yet he had grace to entertain the whims of a court-jester of a plumber. This noble gentleman actually apologized to me for not being even more cordial than he had already been. Not only do I now pay more attention to my surroundings as it relates to people and their condition, I try hard not to react negatively to others based on my own trials and tribulations.

Responding to a friend who posted this on Facebook






Years ago me and a partner accepted a contract to complete a warehouse loft in Brooklyn. Plumbing, Heating, Ventilation and some light structural work. The job had been started by someone else, and the client was unsatisfied with how things were going.
We first had to correct an extraordinary amount of problems left by the last contractor. We soon came to the conclusion that this was the work of a extremely bad handyman, and dubbed him "The Butcher".

Day after day, over and over we ran into more and more outrageous work that had to be redone. At one point I had to inspect and finish a shower stall that was started by 'The Butcher'. I quickly realized that it didn't have a trap installed on the waste line (a fitting used to hold a water seal and prevent dangerous sewer gases from entering the living space). That left me no choice but to disassemble the entire unit to see if there were any other serious violations, which was a very frustrating situation considering the amount of time it took away from the large amount of work we had ahead of us. After removing a wall to check the vent piping (which supplies air relief to protect the newly installed trap's seal), I noticed that the vent piping had absolutely no space around it where it penetrated the floor. This was not a problem in itself, but I needed to see that it was properly connected to the waste line under the floor.
There was a small sliver of insulation protruding from where the pipe penetrated the floor, so I pulled on it hoping to expose enough of a crack to get my saw blade into to widen the hole.
As I pulled on the sliver of insulation, the entire pipe (Which was only 3" long and disconnected) fell into my hands. 'The Butcher' had propped up this pipe to look as if it was installed, and placed the sliver of insulation under it to further seal the illusion. I immediately started laughing hysterically, and my partner and the client quickly came over to see what was going on.

I tried to explain things to them while laughing hysterically with tears running down my face, and they stood there watching stunned and confused. It took me all of 5 minutes to regain composure and get back to work. I had absolutely no control of my laughter, and felt like I was reborn afterwards. I guess it was just a matter of my safety relief valve popping off.